Difficult But Real
by Gamma Orionis
Summary: It isn't easy to be in love with your brother-in-law... but at least it makes Narcissa feel alive. Written for MadHatterBellatrix10's 7 Days of Taylor Swift Challenge on the HPFC forum.
1. The Way I Loved You

Author's Notes: Written for MadHatterBellatrix10's 7 Days of Taylor Swift Challenge on the HPFC forum.

_You will be submitting a oneshot/chapter centered around a character or a pairing each day for an entire week (or for a total of seven oneshots/chapters). And your prompt will be a lyric from one of Taylor Swift's songs. It will total up to seven drabbles. You can make them into a story, one chapter per lyric prompt (I'd prefer this format) or seven separate ones._

__Banner: http: / /pics. livejournal. com/gamma_x_orionis/pic/0000a368/s640x480

* * *

_But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain... _

_~The Way I Loved You~_

)O(

Narcissa missed Rodolphus with all her heart.

She missed how things had been before she had gotten married to Lucius, when she had been with the person she loved. She missed their fights, screaming matches that had ended in tearful reconciliations. She missed how Rodolphus would catch her as she tried to go inside after a bleak walk in the gardens and press his body against hers and kiss her deeply in the rain.

She missed everything about him.

It was all made worse because she knew it was her fault they couldn't ever be together.

She shouldn't have married.


	2. Love Story

_It's a love story, baby – just say yes…_

_~Love Story~_

)O(

Rodolphus caught Narcissa one night while Lucius was out, cornering her in her parlour and putting his arms around her, holding her tightly against his strong, muscular frame – so different from Lucius's…

"What is this?" Narcissa whispered, when Rodolphus's fingers tangled in her long hair and his lips brushed against hers, warm and firm and familiar, but _wrong_. "Why are you here?"

"Because I love you," Rodolphus said simply. "Obviously."

"I'm married!"

"It doesn't matter. It's just an obstacle in our love story…"

Narcissa's eyes filled with tears. "Rod… what do you want me to say?"

"Cissa… just say yes."


	3. Cold as You

_And you come away with a great little story about the mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you…_

_~Cold as You~_

)O(

Narcissa should have known not to stay once her husbands' friends started to drink. But she sat at the edge of the parlour, listening to them telling their drunken anecdotes. She should have known that with enough alcohol to loosen his tongue, Rodolphus would talk about her.

She rushed from the parlour as soon as Rodolphus began to speak of their affair, and slumped against the door in tears.

_It's a great little story, isn't it_? She thought viciously. _Telling them all about how I'm such a mess of a dreamer… and how I have the nerve to adore you._


	4. You're Not Sorry

_You've got your share of secrets and I'm tired of being last to know…_

_~You're Not Sorry~_

)O(

"Rod," Narcissa said softly, "Why didn't you tell me that you were taking the Dark Mark?"

"I thought it wouldn't matter to you," Rodolphus said smoothly. "It wasn't as though I was keeping it a secret – I just didn't think you would especially care."

"You'll be risking your life, Rodolphus! How can you think I wouldn't care?" Narcissa was near hysterical.

"Well," Rodolphus said quietly. "It's not as though you don't have your share of secrets."

"Nothing like this!" she protested. "And I'm tired of you going off and making decisions like this, and always being the last to know."


	5. Innocent

_Your string of lights is still bright to me_

_~Innocent~_

)O(

Rodolphus groaned dazedly. He was lying in his bed, Narcissa leaning over him with a worried expression.

"What's happened?" he asked.

"You were hurt," Narcissa told him. "There was a fight, and you got hit with a spell. Don't move, you'll only make it worse."

"Cissa…" he moaned softly. "I… I don't understand… how this happened… I… I used to be so good at fighting… and now… I feel like I'm a light that's going out… I'm useless…"

"Shh… don't talk…" Narcissa soothed, stroking his forehead. "It's all right. Your light is still bright to me. It always will be."


	6. Should've Said No

_Do you honestly expect me to believe we could ever be the same?_

_~Should've Said No~_

)O(

Narcissa was miserable when Rodolphus – and other Death Eaters, yes, but Rodolphus was the one who concerned her – escaped from Azkaban. Gone was the dashing man who had swept her off her feet, replaced by a haunted shell of her lover.

"Why don't you love me anymore, Cissa?" Rodolphus asked her once, in his new, broken voice.

"I do love you," she said. "But things are different now."

"They don't have to be…"

"Yes they do!" she told him. "Rod… did you honestly believe we could ever be the same? Things have changed, whether we wanted them to or not."


	7. Better than Revenge

_Soon she's going to find that stealing other people's toys on the playground won't make you many friends…_

_~Better than Revenge~_

)O(

After Azkaban, the old Rodolphus was well and truly gone, and Narcissa dared not hope for his return. Everything in the world had stolen Rodolphus away from Narcissa – Bellatrix had married him, the Dark Lord had taken over his mind, and Azkaban had stolen even that. There was nothing left for Narcissa at all.

But in her grief, Narcissa could not blame the Dark Lord, nor Azkaban, nor even fate for this. She turned her rage upon the only person who she could hurt.

Bellatrix had stolen him, Narcissa thought. And stealing other people's toys won't make you many friends…

)O(

_Fin_


End file.
